On personal deportment

Yep, a rant.

I am an old fart, nearing a half-century of life. I am a casual gamer, with job and family that ensure I can’t be welded to my computer even if I wanted it – and various other interests remove that. I am not really bothered by swearing, but some folk are. I’m not going to complain much when friends insult one another – that’s been happening for centuries. I will yell and scream, however, about some things.

If you know you have a hard exit time – you’ve got a real life deadline – tell your party. I am willing to run part of an instance, change tank (or dps or healer or) and go on. I prefer, however, to know ahead of time so I can start asking before you leave instead of waiting till the instant’s trash respawns. I need my sleep so I can work to pay for this game (among other things).

If you get an LFG call for something – quest or instance – and you need to stock and prep before you are called, that’s understandable. I’m even tolerant of getting one or two more ogres and turning in the quest(s) you have completed. But if it’s going to take you half an hour or more because you are STARTING some quests after accepting the LFG call, you’re going to anger me. I am a casual player and when I get to play I want to play.

By the same token, if there is a time agreed upon for meeting to go to an instance, come prepared. Clear any bag space, make repairs, buy reagents and food and drink and ammo and any other supplies you need. Turn in (and collect) quests. In sum, when there is a time to be ready, be ready. Because if I spend two hours waiting while everyone does everything, I will probably not get to be there for the final boss and the chance of getting the really nice gear which is the reason I’m running.

One more thing. With friends, you can relax and be as insulting and nasty as you wish. In a casual group, don’t. As an example, it is a common thing to see someone’s total destruction in the game described as a rape. Due to real life experience (friends I’ve known) that phrasing offends me and I will ask you to stop.

Which brings me, I think, to my last deportment request. If someone is doing something that annoys them, ask them to stop. Ask, not yell or complain on other channels without telling them. Now whether you do it as a whisper or as a party request is up to you. Oh, and the flipside… if you are asked to stop something — certain phrases, irrelevant chatter, whatever — please stop unless it’s something you have to do. If so, discuss it. Because if you’re busy fretting or complaining about your party you’re not concentrating on the current situation — and when you’re done you will not have enjoyed it. And neither will the other person who might be me.

And I am a casual player, who does this for fun.

~ by Kirk on August 13, 2007.

2 Responses to “On personal deportment”

  1. A superb post on the basics of human decency. I couldn’t agree more.

    I have sometimes been the one who has gone too far or said something that unintentionally hurt someone – when it was mentioned to me, I stopped. No hard feelings, no groaning or complaining. But if it’s never told to me, I won’t stop.

    And as Kirk said, that goes both ways.

    Nowadays people are so afraid of confrontation that they just get all bitter and sick inside rather than asking someone to change their behavior or saying when they see something wrong. Don’t take it too far, but don’t be afraid to be honest either.

    Be considerate of those around you, don’t be rude for no reason, but don’t fester and moan behind the scenes when a simple “Hey, that bothers me, could you please stop it” will do.

    And don’t accept a group invite if you’re not prepared to skedaddle to the group pretty quick. Good grief, do people really do that?

    Courtesy the artist Kyohthttp://kyoht.com/archive/images/WhositRot.jpg

  2. Yes, they really do that.

    Of course the one that staggers me is …

    My daughter is in a raiding guild – a pretty decently ranked one on our server. They have an official “be here at this time to be eligible for today’s raid” time. My daughter (a healadin) was on time, geared and stocked. They sorted out actual go team and got started – after various people selected said “OK, let me repair and I’ll be right there” and that sort of stuff – almost an hour later.

    I’ve run guilds. (hmmm, next post?) There’s a balancing act needed, but when you have to wait an hour to actually start it’s time to let your second- and third-tier players who are ready bump the first-tiers who are abusing the times.

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